Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We're too hungover to prance.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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