my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
