"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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