? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Randomize
