haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want to make out with him forever
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
