White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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