like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
