"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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