so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
