girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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