you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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