I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
