Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
