it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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