I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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