Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
