It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Need sex. Gaining weight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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