I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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