You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
