My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
