no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
