I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
