We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
