That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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