Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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