If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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