I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
