the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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