That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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