Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
