Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
