I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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