so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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