Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
