you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
