Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
