I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
