I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
