What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
