Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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