you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
