Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
