Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i barfeds in our rink
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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