I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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