Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
