Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm always down for nudity.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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