I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
