Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
