I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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