So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
